Has your child ever told you, “No”?
Have your children ignored you to the point that you end up repeating yourself several times?
Ever feel frustrated when these things happen??
Yup, we’ve all seen it – kids who are defiant and ignore their parents, say, “No”, or just flat out argue when told to do something. Call it what you like but what we have here is a case of defiance!
Adults commonly become frustrated when a child is being defiant and disrespectful. I’ve been there and I hear you!!! Raising and teaching kids is definitely frustrating from time to time. You see, those little souls have free will. Our children are free to make choices and are free to be defiant. It’s all part of growing up.
Defiant children cause disruptions by using inappropriate behaviors such as being rude, refusing to do what they are told, and purposefully make choices that go against what they are taught. Sound familiar? I thought so!
Many of us believe that kids need to obey and respect their elders no matter what (I did at one point). People say, “There is no place for defiant behavior. Kids are to show respect no matter what!”
Sorry, but this is not reality. Free will exists in all of us.
So what could be to blame? Parenting style, lack of routines, inconsistent consequences, mental illness…I could go on.
Basically, the driving force behind defiance is all about our kids being able to have some kind of control. And this will continue as they get older as they continue to make declarations of their own independence…if and only if you don’t get a handle on this NOW!
And yes, there is a way to find the balance between healthy independence and straight up defiance!
There is hope!
So what can you do?
Start today by choosing your battles. Not everything needs to be an argument. If you can compromise, then compromise. Have a conversations about each other’s needs and wants. Trust me, your children will appreciate your attention to their desires. This is the first step to making things better.
Want more? Fabulous!