Everyday say , “I love you no matter what!” to your kids. Plain and simple. Do it!
When raising children, it is critical for them to know that that they are loved no matter what they do or say. It doesn’t take a genius to know that children will misbehave. We also know that sometimes these misbehaviors are an accident but many others are purposeful. Regardless of how mad or frustrated you feel with your child’s behavior, tell them that you love them always – no matter what happens.
Saying these magical words does not by any means excuse children from making poor choices. Love for our children is unconditional, and that is what we need to convey. There will still be consequences for their behaviors, but a parent’s love does not hinge on positive behavior alone. Knowing and feeling this creates children who feel secure and safe. It is quite possible to enforce consequences that teach children right from wrong while making sure they know that you love them.
We have all heard this saying: actions speak louder than words. Saying “I love you no matter what” is great and all but adding a hug, meaningful eye contact, and/or a snuggle increases the positive feelings surrounding this concept of unconditional love.
All children deserve nothing less than to belong to a family that will raise them to know right from wrong, to know what love is, and to know how to treat others. Showing unconditional love is part of the entire process of using positive discipline to raise your kids. It isn’t about one-upping one another or dishing out punishments. It is a journey about figuring out life. Be the role model that you children deserve. Your actions will be what mold them into the people that will become as adults.
Barb, LMHC, CPC, ED.M, CAS
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